Thursday, May 28, 2009

Jesus, Bowling, and Mean Mommy Bloggers

Do you want to know why my last two posts sucked? Do you? It's because I've been trying not to write this whiney, cynical post. And I don't think that's even how one spells 'whiney'. Consider yourself warned.

For starters, Niki and Charlotte are out of town. Visiting another baby. Gasp! How could they do this to us? The other baby happens to be Niki's twin sister's new baby, so I guess we should cut them some slack. Operative word being should. Even if we did cut them some slack, Niki is still not sending pictures like SHE SAID SHE WOULD. As if that's not bad enough, since Niki isn't here to hang out with and isn't sending pictures for me to look at, Zoey and I were forced to go to the pool yesterday BY OURSELVES. Zoey's loser mom didn't even think to bring toys to the pool*, so we had to make 'friends' with a Good Mom who did have a plethora of pool toys. This mom also happened to be a bible-beater-you-are-going-to-hell-if-you-don't-go-to-my-church type. People, I had to talk about JESUS while AT THE POOL. Don't get me wrong, Jesus was a groovy guy. I even sort of like the sentiment of Jesus as the first social worker. If Jesus is your savior, that's fine by me. Just don't tell me he has to be mine. And please, please, for the love of god, don't tell me I'm going to hell. Basically, I think Jesus and hell just aren't appropriate pool talk. For once, I think Miss Manners might agree with me. I mean, can't we talk about the weather, or how cute our kids are, or how the lifeguard has no control as evidenced by pre-teen boys throwing chairs into the pool?

Kara left this morning for a funeral. I can't hold a funeral against her but I can say that I am no good without our runs. You think I have a teensy bit of rage now, while I've been able to run and have my chats with Kara? Wait a few days. Feel sorry for Demetri. Very very sorry. And yes, I can run without her, but it doesn't hold the same therapeutic value. Plus my knee hurts.

Up next on my list: Demetri worked from 8 AM to 8 PM yesterday. They're having some kind of in-town leadership 'retreat'. He also got to eat at a fancy restaurant for dinner. Me? I had half a PB&J. And today? While we're still home ALONE? He's going bowling. Yes, bowling. Really, it's "team building", but who are they kidding? It's team building disguised as WILD FUN THAT I DON'T GET TO HAVE. I suspect they are also going to have brownies after lunch but I'm trying not to think too much about that. Otherwise what is the point of going on?

Lastly, I've HAD IT with mean mommy bloggers. HAD IT. Seriously dude, it's bringing me way down. I actually had to remove a couple of bloggers from My Heroes list. It made me sad to do it but I just can't take any more of moms railing on other moms or on me. Is it really your job to tell me breast is best? I know for certain it's not your job to tell me that I should have used donated breast milk. There are just some things I don't like to use from others: underwear, a toothbrush, and now I am adding breast milk. And do we really need to blame the bad behavior of legal adults on the mother? Can't we blame the legal adults? Or BOTH parents? Or can't we write about stuff other than how every one else is a crappy mom? Do you really need to tell me that because I only have one kid I don't get 'it' (it being parenting)? Um . . . have you met me? Have you met my kid? What I really want from the mommy blogs I read is humor, honesty, and a sense that I'm not alone in my day to day struggles. You meany-pants mommy bloggers can SUCK IT.

What I want, what I really really want, is my pit crew** back. Niki and Charlotte to play, laugh, and commiserate with. The grandparents to get advice from, go to the pool with, and just have around. Kara to run and talk with. Demetri home before dinner with hugs and stories from his day. And I want my usual blogger life lines: Motherhood Uncensored, Finslippy, Looky Daddy. In the meantime, we are heading out to Publix to do some shopping . . . and to talk to anyone who makes eye contact with us.

*If The Grandparents had been in town surely they would have known to bring toys. But no. They are out of town too.
** I got this term form Anne Lamott -- meaning the people who take care of us and get us through our days.


  1. Close-mindedness is SO ANNOYING!

    You know...whether you are a parent of 1 kid or 4 kids, you are still a PARENT and you still have fears and struggles and needs. They should be happy to offer advice rather than shoveling judgments.

    I often think that the Internet magnifies people...if they are annoying - they are more so on the Internet...if they are judging, blaming, etc.

    Do I sense some new additions to your SUCK IT list. :)

  2. I can't say that I want to live in The South, but I have to imagine it would be fun to live near you. I would be happy to part of your Pit Crew, and I'd gleefully snark at the mean mommy-bloggers with you.

  3. I so love the humor in your writing, and assume that it is crafted by 'magnifying' situations to the extreme ... ergo, humor.
    Yup, some bible thumpers are annoying. Interestingly, I raised my kids here (now in their late 30's - early 40's)and never once had a confrontation with them. Did the traveling folks come to my door once in awhile? Yup. I invited them in, offered them cookies, and told them I'd listen to them, but first THEY had to listen to ME.
    They left quickly.
    So maybe it's an attitude ... maybe it's my attitude. Lol.
    Keep up the good writing!