Monday, July 13, 2009

Number 6 on the Suck It List

A few days ago Niki and I packed up Zoey and Charlotte and headed to Blue Coast Burrito for lunch. It's a favorite lunch spot of ours because a) the food rocks and b) they still let us in (and presumably don't spit in our food) even though the girls make a mess of the floor each and every time. We've never had a bad experience there. Yup, until a few days ago. And it wasn't the food, it was the other customers.

It started when we were crossing the parking lot. There we are: two hot mama's (one with a cute preggo baby belly) each carrying a kid that weighs at least 21 pounds. And each carrying a diaper bag. Some guy driving a brown sports car (and I'm sorry but who the hell picks brown for a sports car? Mini van, yes. Sports car, no.) swerves around us, not slowing down at all. He was a little too close and a lot too arrogant for our comfort. Niki, always the model mom, says, "Don't mind us with the BABIES!". I, the model of nothing, say, "HEY A**HOLE! DON'T MIND THE F****** PEDESTRIANS WITH F****** BABIES!" Nice. I've really got to start working on that.

So after almost getting run over by a brown sports car, we go inside. The staff is great (as usual) waving to the girls, saying how cute they are, etc. Niki orders, gets her food, and heads over to a table. I'm waiting for guacamole. When I turn around, I see Niki carrying Charlotte and dragging two high chairs. Again: a pregnant woman carrying a todler and dragging two high chairs. I also see 4 tables of men within arms reach of her. 4 tables of men, 8 men in all, doing nothing.* Now don't get me wrong -- Niki is buff, she can handle herself. But come on. A little help please? But no. Niki gets to the table on her own and without accidentally-on-purpose knocking some lazy guy in the head. Not that I know anyone who would do that or anything. I'm just saying that an angrier, less model-like mom might consider such a thing.

Then I get to the table. The guys at the table behind us are deep in conversation about their profit margin or the latest memo or something. You can practically hear them roll their eyes when yet another baby arrives in close proximity. To get to my seat I have to squeeze between the chair back of one of the guys and our table. Which I do and only mildly graze him with my ass as he is ignoring the fact that a woman and child are trying to use the table behind him. Then I try and squeeze Zoey and her high chair into the table. The high chair fits under the table top so really we only need room for Zoey's . . . girth, I guess. She's 14 months, she not that girthy. The man doess not scoot his chair in an inch. True, this man perhaps has some girth issues of his own, but there were at least 6 inches between him and the table. Eventually Zoey is crammed in there up against the table. And I only hit the back of the man's chair once. Or twice.

What is with people? Would it kill them to be slightly aware of what is going on around them? Is it too much to ask for people to give up 10 seconds of their super important lives to help a pregnant woman haul a high chair to a table that's 5 feet away? Or scoot their chair in 2 inches? Or perhaps not run over a model mom and her poopy-mouthed side kick in a parking lot? I think not. And those people? They can SUCK IT.

*Yes, I would still be complaining if the tables were full of women. It just happened to be men on that day


  1. You know my motto - "People are bitches". Actually, that's my #2 motto. My #1 motto is "Babies ruin everything." Sigh.

  2. When I was 7 months pregnant with Max I visited my sis in NYC. We got on the fairly packed subway and no one...NO ONE offered me their seat. After about 5 minutes my sister hones in on some young guy near us and says "she's pregnant. get your ass up now!" He did...and I sat. But some people!

  3. It's like you are living my life in another town...I'll tell you - rude people also shop at Marshalls. I know, it's true though.

    Why are people so "oblivious" to other people's situations...

  4. I stood up for about 20 minutes on a packed tram the day before I gave birth (which btw was 10 days after my due date) because I was the only person willing to give up my seat to a very frail looking old lady.
    Granted I did haul a rocking chair back from IKEA on said tram later that day, but you get my point.
    I always wonder how they would expect people to treat them/their wives in such a situation.

  5. The truth is that even if one of those men had jumped up to help me, it would have taken a lot for me to actually accept the help. I am such an "I got it! I got it!" kind of person who secretly resents not being offered help that I can then refuse bravely. It's a good reminder to me to offer help to other people in those situations though.

  6. I'm going to stop reading and posting now so I don't look like a Zozo's Mom stalker...

  7. I am in a cranky mood and this post irks me. What kind of friend are you? You let your friend (with child no less) lug a baby and two high chairs across a restaurant just because you needed your guacamole fix toute de suite? What about giving up on your guacamole for a second to help a friend? Yes, I am being facetious, in an attempt to highlight the assumptions you make. Par example, like I assumed you were in a position to help your friend, you assumed the men saw your friend struggling with the high chairs and refused to help.

  8. It's good to catch up with "The Adventures of Zoey." She looks like she's grown 2-3 inches since we saw her. Speaking of biting, Kinsey just bit me hard, too. I had to have a tetnus shot yesterday. The dog in my children's book is a biter, too. Must be a little girl thing. Glad to see the giraffe has been upgraded from the you-know-what list to a "treasure."

  9. People can be so human sometimes. We could all stand to be a bit more humane. Thanks for the reminder.