Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Major Missage

Last night was not a good night. I actually uttered* the words, "If you don't put clothes on right now I will duct tape pajamas on your body so thoroughly that you won't get them off until next week sohelpmegod!" And that wasn't even the low point. Maybe the low point was when I was whining at Demetri saying, "What is wrong with me? Am I the most impatient person in the world?" In an attempt to lighten the mood, Demetri joked, "No, Zoey is . . . ha ha." I responded, "What? Are you saying I'm a bad person? Huh? Are you? FINE! You're right! I AM A BAD PERSON. Happy?" Demetri, clearly not happy with my wildly loose interpretation of his joke, then suggested I go take a relaxing bubble bath. I smacked my palm hard on the kitchen table, "No. No, I will NOT take a bath. You know what this means?" I pointed to my wedding ring. "Huh? Do ya? It means FOREVER, bucko! So you are stuck with me!" I smacked both palms on the table. "How do you like them apples?!"

I've said it before. I'll say it again: I have the most kind and patient husband. Ever. E-V-E-R.

Anyway. Preceding the-night-that-was-not-a-good-night was the-day-that-was-a-long-day. It was nothing terrible in itself. It was just a lot of things that added up: I've had a bad cold for a week. No adult contact. Rain. Lots of sitting with Zoey while she sat on her potty and did NOTHING. Boredom. A 45 minute nap which hardly even qualifies as a nap. A cranky toddler who can't express her needs other than through whining. Chasing Zoey around trying to get her to keep clothes, any clothes, on. Boredom. Not feeling well enough to go for a walk. No good snacks in the house. Thinking it was Wednesday and then realizing it wasn't, thus being crushed that 'Glee' wasn't on. Zoey pushing my buttons -- every chance she got. Zoey testing limits -- every chance she got. Boredom. Frustration. No chocolate in the house. Which was a whammy because the lack of chocolaty goodness was all my fault. Demetri is required my marital law to hide chocolate in the house. Then, when I have a chocolate emergency, I call him and he tells me where to find it. Except I had discovered his stash and eaten it all without telling him. Therefor: NO CHOCOLATE. And it was all MY DOING.

This morning things feel a bit better. Demetri's mom is flying in late this morning. She is excellent company, a wicked good Scrabble player, and a big help. The Grandparents come back into town on Saturday. There are TWO celebrations next week: Zoey's adoption day and Thanksgiving. My cold will go away eventually. There is hope for a loooong nap today. Demetri left me a small pack of M&M's this morning.

When I have days like yesterday I am reminded that parenting is like social work; Neither can be done in isolation. Or at least not done well. I need family and my mom friends and . . . chocolate. I need to talk to my BFF (Hi Tyff!) on the phone. I need to tell her my grossest stories, my parenting fails. And I need to hear hers. Not that we enjoys each others' pain, although we do make each other laugh. I think we need to know that we're not alone. We're in this wild, crazy, awesome, scary, hard, frustrating thing together. This isn't where I thought this post would end. But it is where it is. I miss my best friend. And although we've lived in different states most of our 27 year friendship, yesterday that distance was too much. Way too much.

* 'Utter' may be the wrong word here. Maybe more like sternly-yet-gently. Or maybe even sternly-and-hysterically.

Tyff and I when we were 7 . . . and yes, we thought we looked GOOD in the goggles . . .


  1. ok, first of all: NEVER deny yourself chocolate. Never.

    That whole potty thing you are going through happened to us. The kids seemed interested in PT and all, but it went nowhere. So after getting annoyed, I put the potties away and waited. It wasn't until they were 2 1/2 that they were really ready, not just interested, in emptying their bowels in anything other than a diaper. After that - it went quick. One way or another, though, Zoey WILL potty train. Hehe - she may even actually PT faster if you let her go really nude and no diaper...but I could never risk the potential cleanups that would lead to.

    And speaking of the whole clothes things - that's just too funny, if I may think that. Every morning, my son takes off his pants and underwear - but NOT his shirt - and walks around. He eventually goes potty and then sits around a while before getting dressed. It's not as bad as Zoey, but Damon and I just look at each other when the little streaker strolls by. What can we do?

  2. Maybe we should buy some goggles and hang out on a raft this summer.......I love you BFF

  3. Oh Jos - we've all been there. Maybe you can just claim temporary insanity or demon possession. Sometimes you gotta just let the inner toddler throw a tantrum though. That's why you marry someone understanding like Demetri. And learn how to make good apologies. Hope you're feeling better and having a good time with your mother-in-law!

  4. Dude, from what I can tell, toddlers take infinite patience-- "infinite" as in "way more than any human being in the entire world can possibly have".

    I love that Demetri has to hide the chocolate. I have had to have Andrew do the same thing! I went through a baaaaaaaad phase of eating way too many dark chocolate mint UFO's. I'm bringing you and Niki some more at Thanksgiving, by the way! Hope that will help you deal with Zoey's love of nakedness. That, and duct tape.