Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Fight the Power

I am in the front seat of the car anxious and ready to leave because oh-my-god-if-we're-we're-not-at-least-5-minutes-early-we're-LATE. Demetri is attempting to wrangle Zoey into her car seat. Zoey is attempting to negotiate her terms of travel*:

Demetri: Yes, you can bring your baby in the car.
Zoey: (kicking and flailing) Car seat! Bay-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Demetri: Baby doesn't need to go in a car seat . . . Although you're right, it would be safer for her. And safety is important.
Me: (audible eye roll that, sadly, isn't heard because of all THE SCREAMING)
Demetri: Well, I could put the booster seat in the car and then baby can sit in that!
Me: (massaging temples and whispering) Iamapatientperson . . . Iamapatientperson
Zoey: Baby. Seat. Car.
Demetri: Yeah, I'll put the booster seat in and baby will always have a safe place to sit! And you can put her in her own seat every time we go in the car! Yeah! It'll be so fun!
Me: (swivels around, locks eyes with Demetri) If you put that booster seat in the car We. Are. No. Longer. Friends.

And then I had to explain why I didn't want to booster seat in the car. I HAD TO EXPLAIN. I mean, you get it right? Right?

* I, as the Mean Mommy, do not believe in terms of travel.

Here, baby is being taught to smell the flowers. And fight The Power (aka Mean Mommy)


  1. Great. Your kid is just trying to be safe, and you ruined it. Why don't you just hand her a lit cigarette and a dirty syringe while you're at it?
    (Unrelated: I tell Josh we're no longer friends all the time. It's a favorite line.)

    A) I'm thinking you might be buying a bike helmet for the baby at some point in the future.
    B) I also believe in the 5-minutes-early-or-you're-late doctrine.
    C) I am totally going to start using the "we are no longer friends" line because it is awesome.
    D) That picture of Zoey teaching the baby to smell the flowers is the sweetest, cutest picture I have ever seen!!!!

  3. My kid's toy has birthday parties. With balloons and cake. I'm not kidding.

  4. I came back just to look at this pic again. It's a Top Tenner.

  5. I love this post. Love it. You are one of the funniest people I know! :) "negotiate terms of travel". Awesome. From one Mean Mommy to another.....I'm glad that we are on the same page. No. Booster. Seat. For. Baby.
    It would be a never-ending spiral...next thing you know baby would need a college fund.