Tuesday, April 27, 2010

In Which I Fall Off the Face of the Earth

So here's what happened:
Demetri got a job in Boston. But we couldn't tell anyone about it until his current job announced that he was leaving. Which wasn't until last week. But we had to pack up all our crap*, have a garage sale, ship the animals off to generous relatives in New England**, make arrangements to paint the house neutral colors***, and pick out new carpet for the upstairs because the cat ruined the carpet with his razor sharp TALONS. And then Zoey and I had to get the heck out of there while painting and carpeting occurred because, seriously, can you imagine doing all that around nap times and with a toddler under foot? Well, probably you can. We, on the other hand, are wimps. But wimps with options. So now Zoey and I are in South Carolina wreaking havoc at The Grandparents beach pad while Demetri is at home dealing with manufacturally defected carpet and sleeping under 7 sets of sheets because he packed all our blankets into a pod that is now being stored in Nashville. Awesome. Being at the beach is awesome. But being away from Demetri and having a rushed goodbye from good friends and missing our comfortable little routine**** and being sick (sniff sniff) is a little less than awesome. My inner therapist is screaming, TOO MUCH STRESS! POOR CLOSURE! TOO MANY BIG CHANGES! LOTS OF LOSS! And then my inner therapist gets some control and serenely repeats, You do not do well with changes. You do not do well out of your routine. Learn. The. Lesson. But moving is messy. And chaotic. So for now I'm sticking to my primitive defense mechanisms (sleep, denial, passive aggression, etc. etc.). And stealing Internet from a neighbor.

* "Crap" is defined as clutter and excess junk that makes the house less likely to show well. We have a lot of "crap".
**Neither the cat nor the dog puked or pooped in their crate. VICTORY!!!
*** Apparently very few people appreciate a bright yellow kitchen, a red library, a blue dining/play room, and a green bathroom. THHPPPTTTT to them!
**** Have I mentioned that I am big on routines? As in You can pry my routine out of my cold, dead hands.


  1. Dude. If I didn't have comps to write and a class to finish and a belly the size of Texas and increasingly swollen ankles, I would be on the FIRST PLANE to South Carolina and you and Zoey and that beach. Ooooh... that beach. By which I mean you and Zoey, of course.
    Of course you are stressed - no one likes moving and does well with all the change. Anyone who says they do is either a) a liar, b) a psychopath, or c) both. It will get better. Hang in there, and know that there are folks out there rooting for you and Zoey and eagerly awaiting your arrival in Beantown!

  2. I was up at midnight last night desperately rooting through our medicine cabinet (read old amazon box with the lid ripped off) looking for the valium that I KNEW Mike had purchased over the counter from some dodgy pharmacy in Sri Lanka four years previously.

    All I could find were a whole lot of boxes with names I didn't recognize. I scurried to the internet. I googled them all one after the other. They were all antibiotics designed to kill protozoa's you only pick up in Africa. The bugger had taken all the valium to Laos. ALL OF IT. All two tabs. Seriously, what about MARITAL SHARING?? Why hadn't he foreseen that I might feel the need for valium for the first time since... oh, when was the last (and only) time I've ever taken valium??. Oh, yes. The night we got engaged.

    I swear I am not making any of this up.

    And when I complained over skype today... He just laughed.

    As you may have gathered, I am not faring tremendously well either. May the moving gods be with you. Hang in there. Lisa

    PS. Does this mean you're not going to be in the DC area in two weeks? When I am going to be there. When I was hoping you'd be around to have coffee?

  3. Can I just tell you that the beige on beige on beige house is SO BORING without your color and flair in it? Yes, it will probably sell more quickly if the buyers have no imagination, style, or flair, but it made me sad to see it. You're going to die laughing when you see it.

  4. Oh NOOOOO!!! BOSTON??????? I'm sure you will be geographically happier there, but you and your writing (in other venues, ahem) will be missed!!!!